Reflecting

Ayden is asleep and I have time to myself to surf the internet. A rare treat nowadays. Ayden is getting to be a handful now that he knows what he wants and makes sure he GETS what he wants.

With this quiet time, I took the opportunity to browse through my blog and read through my posts from before Ayden was born. Wow.... life really has changed. REALLY changed. Reading through, it seemed like I took the effort to appreciate the little things in life. I blogged about all sorts of things. Food that I ate, people I met, places I've been. I never realised it, but I guess I lived life to the fullest.

I read the posts on my pregnancy. I was so excited. I was so happy! We were so excited to meet Jr. Jr arrived and changed our lives forever. I was giddy with happiness. He is everything to us. From breastfeeding to sippy cups. Everything was fun.

But something is wrong, that giddy feeling is gone. Am I taking things for granted? Did I forget to be thankful for what was finally bestowed upon us?

Life took a 360 change. Not only because Ayden came into our lives. I had changed my work environment. What is the big deal? Well, I've been in my old workplace for more than 10 years. Yes it has its ups and downs, but its the life that I was familiar with. Its the lifestyle that I was used to. I had lots of friends, people to chat with, shops to browse, things that I liked to eat. At my new work place, everything is different. My new colleagues are great though, don't get me wrong. Work is good too! Can't complain. But its a change of lifestyle. I only eat cafeteria food, which is always nasi campur. I NEVER eat nasi campur as a rule. CARBS is a no no. People are friendly, but different. I can't relate to them, and I don't think they get me either. I got no one to share my joys of Ayden with. They are nice, but not really chatty people. I miss being able to window shop at the shopping mall like before. My new work place is in the middle of an industrial area. Really sucks. I hate it. Finally, the last of my lifestyle to go was my car. I don't want to sound conceited, but my car was what made me feel good. I enjoyed going out in it, and simply just love driving it.

With Ayden around now, I don't go out as much as I used to. Hubby and I don't even dine out that often anymore.

It really is too much of a change all at once. Should I go back to my old workplace? The good thing about my new workplace is that it is a whole lot less stress.

Another cross road. I hate making decisions like this.

Help me?