Can we have it all?

I am still bugged with the very annoying question. “So when will you be having a baby?” I am up to my ears with this and am fed up with it. Surprisingly this harassment is coming from men! I simply, cordially reply, “Soon I hope”.

But seriously they treat it like it’s a crime! Why can’t people leave me alone! I have my own reasons and I don’t owe any explanations to anyone! My recent conversation with a colleague led to deeper thoughts.

Some divorce happens as a result of couples not being able to conceive, doesn’t matter whose fault it is. The pressure then comes from other parties like in-laws, relatives etc. Rather than leaving it to the couple to sort their problems out, they get harassed by other people who somehow think it is their business to intervene. My colleague related a story to this.

A couple had trouble conceiving. Instead of getting support from family members they kicked up a fuss and the couple ended getting a divorce. I thought that was very sad. Love goes deeper than just zuriat. If they can't conceive they could always adopt. But because this issue suddenly became a battle between two families, their marriage was torn apart.

Divorce also happens when couples are not prepared to conceive! There was an incident where a friend “convinced” his wife to have a baby and nearly ended up with a divorce because she was simply not prepared to have a baby. To me it is plain cruel and inconsiderate. A man has no idea what a woman has to go through or sacrifice.

Moral 1

It is the couple’s business to sort out their own problems. They have enough difficulty in dealing with the emotional issue of trying to conceive, they do not need other people to bother them with it.

Moral 2

If a woman / or man is not ready to commit to a child then let them be! A child is not a pet and it is forever. Whatever their reasons are, it is nobody’s business. Other people do not live in their shoes.

From a woman’s point of view, she has to sacrifice more when becoming a mother. Our bodies would not be the same and is subjected to so many changes during the pregnancy. Her career would definitely have to be sacrificed to a certain extend.

No doubt woman has a different role to play. She is a mother, a wife and probably has a career. She might want to strike a balance and try to see how everything can be worked out. Even that is not an easy task. Which do we have to give up?

Can we have it all? Is it possible?