I've left off blogging for so long but intermittently keep coming back. There's so much memories recorded here with pictures that it's a shame not to continue doing so.
Someday, and I bet it won't be too long away, Ayden (and the twins) will be reading this "online journal" that I have and have some insights into my life.
Here's a picture of Ayden revising for his mid year exam.
I deliberately left Sunday free of activities ie free of classes and commitments so we are able to fully have Sundays for family time. We don't have to rush for anything.
This Sunday was particularly fruitful. We had breakfast with Atuk who spent the night because grandma was out of town.
Then the twins played water guns outside for a bit.
After that we headed for BV2 to meet my favourite illustrator Emila Yusof at the Silverfish bookstore. I'm a huge fan of her work and have coloured several pages from her book Mother Earth. We arrived just in time to see her tutorial on how to shade skin tones. Unfortunately I did not bring my book for her to sign, so I bought another of her book Dreamworld for her to sign.
Finally we stopped for cupcakes at our favourite cafe Bisou.
That is a fulfilling weekend for me. Would have been better if we could do something not in a shopping mall but it's too rainy these days. Ayden had to miss his swimming lesson yesterday because it was pouring so hard.
Hope to spend the evening colouring and painting.
Tomorrow is a Monday and it will not ruin my Sunday. Everyday counts and everyday should be a good day!
Too many things has been going on. I love blogging but simply lack of time.
For starters, I don't have a maid since my grand mother passed away in May. It was rough. Some days I feel like I can't cope but days roll into the other, the laundry is done, the house is clean (I have weekend cleaners that come), kids are fed and we are very much well and alive. I guess we are coping well. To be honest it is less stressful without a maid although more tiring. The key thing is to have a schedule and keep to it. Otherwise chores can heap into mountains and you'd be overwhelmed.
Ayden and myself has started violin classes. It's only been 2 months and he's already playing 2 songs. Twinkle twinkle little stars and lightly roll. Since I've always wanted to play the violin well, so I decided to take up classes too. After having left it off for almost 20 years, I'm surprised that I can still play a few bars!
Colouring! I'm still very much into it and trying to colour as much as I can despite my crazy schedule.
Twins on potty training. Aaron is almost ready to go but Hannah is struggling. They need to be off the diapers to be able to go to school next year and they have already been registered!
Work, had a few small wins and I seem to be busy. In the organisation that I work in, being busy is a good thing and of prime importance for survival.
Photoshoot. Been shooting regularly on newborns and that is good fun.
On personal fulfillment, been reading the book of Magic. So I go through my days better.
So that's life these days. It's pretty good. Enjoying the twins last toddler days as much as possible before they become pre-schoolers. They really are so cute talking to each other. Ayden is 5 going on to 15. He's doing great looking out for his siblings during these trying times of not having enough help.
But really, not having a maid has made us all more independent, resilient and more caring for one another. It's a blessing in disguise.
The twins are almost three and Ayden just turned five. Only a parent can understand how much fun this age can be!
Yea sure they fight, they do have their moments, but Alhamdullilah these 3 do look out for each other and enjoy each other's company. And surprisingly, the boys are really good playmates.
Like when the twins are at their football classes, Ayden is there to cheer them on, hold their hand and give them moral support. Aaron makes sure Hannah stands in line in class. At home when she cries he runs to look for her pacifier. When Aaron cries, Hannah will comfort him and say "don't cry Aaron, yuuuuk mummy is here" while waving her finger at me.
Before I became a mother, I bear so many negative remarks about motherhood. How tiring it is, how stressful it is, how much freedom we have to give up, how much money it would cost.
I vowed at that time that if I get to be a mother, my life will be the opposite of that. I will make something out of it.
True to my words, I enjoy motherhood no matter how tired I get, how broke or how how frustrating it can be. Because I was almost not granted this privilege. I was given a second chance.
This second chance taught me more than just being a mother, but to also be a better person, and that life can be so sweet. And not sweat the small stuff.
And feeling great. My muscles are so and feels tight and that feels so good. My movements are more fluid and I feel so much stronger and energetic. I don't really mind it if I don't get those washboard abs like on the Instagram. But what's important is the improvement on my health.
Really hope to finish this program.
Moments like this makes all my problems go away.
I love you my angels. Thank you for making my life beautiful and meaningful.
I have an amazing life. I really do. I want to remember this moment forever. Especially when I am down. To remind me what is important. And that I am truly blessed. In every way
I actually eat better when I am at work. I get lots of “me” time too. The perks of being a working mum.
No I shan’t rant about the negativities of being a working mum. We all know what we have to give up, sacrifice, guilt, and the usual blah blah. So since we are already in this predicament (and can’t get out of it… ok that’s another post altogether), lets not lament about it but look at the positives.
So being at work, I get lots of “me” time. Have a good breakfast with a good cup of coffee. Take my time (when the boss is not around/ or come in early to work) and basically start the day slowly.
There is a good place to have breakfast in the building where I work. I don’t go there that often due to wanting to keep to a decent food budget, but often enough to try most of the things on the menu. Which is not that big a menu, but a good enough breakfast menu.
This morning I had poached eggs on a bed of asparagus with some creamy sauce. Sprinkled with crunchy croutons and two slices of bread. Its almost quite a “light” breakfast. Not too heavy.
Its that moment in your life where you stop and ponder, see you really happy doing what you are doing?
I have not blogged about work for the longest time and I deliberately did not want to. I wanted to keep this blog about other things.
But I have reached my limit. I realised that I am pretending that everything is fine. That I am happy where I am. Well I am not. 15 years I gave to this organisation but I don't feel enriched, nevermind about being rewarded.
Recent turn if events had proved that, this organisation will not change. Upon my return from my secondment from a certain German compny, I told myself, I must not succumb to the unhappiness that I was in before. If that happens, I will leave.
And leave I shall. Just a question of when.
I want to spend a few months at home with my kids. To have fee if what that feels like. The freedom. I've been saying that this is what I want. I don't want to regret not acheiving this. I've been told that tgere is no right time to leave. So I've been aggressively applying for jobs. With no success. I'm starting to panic. What if I don't get a job??
Being a novice at this, I do not know what to expect. How long does it take? So I started contacting head hunters. Hopefully they are able to help me.
Here's to a new life. Hope I get to leave soonest. Might take a few months but I'm putting my foot down on it.
