Leaving the past behind

I met with an old friend for lunch a few days ago. We talked and updated each other with things that’s been going on in our lives. We’ve not seen each other for 15 years. She is the same person I remembered her to be. Funny, energetic and eccentric. As we chatted away, the conversation naturally led to asking each other who have we kept in touch with in the past. Surprisingly she said to me that she tries to avoid people from the past. I thought to myself, not again. I seem to be meeting a lot of people that seem to want to bury their past! I wondered why. Z was not shy to explain why.

She said “I’ve said things to hurt people or might even done things to piss people off. I really regretted what I’ve done and I do not want to look back at the past”.

I also know of a few more people who wants to avoid people from their past. I do that as well sometimes to some people. I have my own reasons, I always wondered what other people’s reasons were. I had always thought that I was the only one who wants to bury its past, I did not realize that I am not alone. I felt very bad about it, but knowing that there are people who feel the same way makes me feel better.

Its painful to think about things that hurt us, but I always try to remind myself to not hang on too much onto the past and look forward more for the future. This was particularly difficult for me to do, look forward to the future that is. I was too afraid of what might come by. I was too busy hanging onto the past. Thinking over and over again, why did that happen to me. Now a days, I am beginning to let go. I realize that there are many good things to look forward to.

Z said that if she had a chance to turn back time, she would do things differently. Now she looks forward to what lies ahead of her and enjoy her time with her 1 year old son.

For me, leaving the past behind has its advantages and disadvantages. I chose to leave everything. The good as well as the bad. Now a days, I try to bring back the good memories and people whom I've neglected and lost touch with. I know now as well, who my friends are... and who I should avoid. There are some people who I do not need in my life, people who only use me for their own advantage, and there are people who genuinely wants to only be your friend. These people... are hard to find.