Tukar Plan

An interesting point was raised by a blogger, which I paid a visit today.

All about jobs and careers.

When I first graduated, I was full of ambitions. I was going to take the world by storm! I wanted to make it big! I was going to give it my all, and be this successful woman that proves that women can do it.

OK… back to reality and planet earth.

Since I’ve been stuck with this shithole company for 7 years, all that ambitions eroded away. Now I don’t even think I “have it” to do anything at all. The Company does not appreciate our efforts and hardwork. They do not even use their taskforce as how they are qualified to be. Hence I am demotivated and re-thinked my career goals.

It took me a long time to figure out what I want (from today onwards). Taking into considerations the future, the benefits that The Company offers (perks other than salary… which sucks at the moment…a BIG JOKE more likely) and blah blah blah….

I resorted to this: There is more to life than a career. After all I am married and I need not bother about bills. Fortunately, it is not my department (before I was heavily supporting myself so, there’s a cause for concern). And I refuse to make it my problem (the bills and household responsibilities that is). I will only be a back up, should things run short that month.

So, my new thought is: to just have a job, Mampos la kalau tak dapat promotion ke, salary macam taiiik ke….. as long as I have enough money to go shopping, do my hair, buy my gadgets once a year…. Cukup. Balik sharp pukul lima setengah, performance cukup “meet requirements” and be part of The Company’s asset (under the Category of Furniture! Depreciate with time! Haha) Dah….. Life is GOOD.

This is what The Company has made me become. Have mediocre expectations of myself.

Sometimes, deep down, I do wonder. Do I really have it? Can I really do it? Must be boleh. I have the drive whaaaat (at least used to). Sure, I can leave and find a job elsewhere. But believe it or not, I don’t have the confidence to.

SAD AIN’T IT

PS: I wonder if Asia Works might help me make that decision (SEE!!!! I’m GOING NUTS!!)