Friday, February 15, 2008

The Divorce

This is one of those forwarded emails jokes/ stories but its my all time favourite..

Happy reading :)

She spent the first day packing her belongings into boxes, crates and
suitcases. On the second day, she had the movers come and collect her
things. On the third day, she sat down for the last time at their beautiful
dining room table by candlelight, put on some soft background music, and
feasted on a pound of shrimp, a jar of caviar, and a bottle of Chardonnay.

When she had finished, she went into each and every room and deposited a
few half-eaten shrimp shells dipped in caviar, into the hollow of the
curtain rods. She then cleaned up the kitchen and left.

When the husband returned with his new girlfriend, all was bliss for the
first few days. Then slowly, the house began to smell.

They tried everything, cleaning, mopping, and airing the place out. Vents
were checked for dead rodents, and carpets were steam cleaned. Air
fresheners were hung everywhere.

Exterminators were brought in to set off gas canisters, during which they
had to move out for a few days, and in the end they even paid to replace
the expensive wool carpeting.

Nothing worked. People stopped coming over to visit. Repairmen refused to
work in the house. The maid quit. Finally, they could not take the stench
any longer and decided to move.

A month later, even though they had cut their price in half, they could not
find a buyer for their stinky house. Word got out, and eventually, even the
local realtors refused to return their calls. Finally, they had to borrow a
huge sum of money from the bank to purchase a new place.

The ex-wife called the man, and asked how things were going. He told her
the saga of the rotting house.

She listened politely, and said that she missed her old home terribly and
would be willing to reduce her divorce settlement in exchange for getting
the house back.

Knowing his ex-wife had no idea how bad the smell was, he agreed on a price
that was about 1/10th of what the house had been worth, but only if she
were to sign the papers that very day. She agreed, and within the hour his
lawyers delivered the paperwork.

A week later the man and his girlfriend stood smiling as they watched the
moving company pack everything to take to their new home, including the
curtain rods.

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